This week, I was reminded of the art of showing up in our lives. Re-reading a familiar book and discussing themes with clients was a gentle nudge to activate presence in my life. Over the weekend, we traveled to Lake Michigan to visit family. There were so many moments of awe: meeting my nephew for the first time, catching the sunrise over the water on a run, capturing my son’s reaction as the sunset, and listening to my other son’s reactions with the boom of each firework. It’s so easy to miss these moments as we’re stuck in the day-to-day of our lives.

But we don’t need a vacation or holiday to notice the glimmers, the special moments of each day. We need to reorient how we show up in this life.

Let's talk about calm. But not just any calm – we're diving deep into authentic calm, the kind rooted in nervous system regulation, not avoidance.

Today is my birthday, and as is tradition, it's a time for me to pause and reflect on the past year. This year, in particular, has been a journey of realignment.

.I've sensed a notable increase in unsettledness among us, likely attributed to the current state of the world and the impending elections. Our team is acutely aware of how election cycles impact the collective's mental health and resilience. This year is proving to be no exception.

As we reflect on our behaviors, both past and present, we often unearth roots that trace back to our childhood experiences. Rather than approaching these discoveries with judgment, we strive to embrace them with compassion, recognizing them as coping mechanisms developed in response to our early environments. In our pursuit of understanding these origins, we often encounter younger versions of ourselves trapped in pain and shame.

And at the heart of self-acceptance lies the ability to comfort ourselves—to offer kindness and reassurance in moments of doubt and uncertainty.

Digging deeper into the core of this issue, we find that fear is the underlying force that fuels the resistance to taking responsibility for one's actions. The prospect of admitting imperfection can be an intimidating and vulnerable experience.

But with that, I’ve been reflecting a lot on what I wish for 2024. You see, it feels as though the last few years have intensely reminded or taught us that we are not in control. The external events continue to occur and we all have to make our way through them. Surprises happen, challenging and uplifting, and yet they remain surprises.

This week’s question comes from someone embarking on an exciting new life chapter following divorce, but trying not to carry the emotional fallout into her new season of life.

And that vulnerability isn’t so much the in-the-moment feeling. Because present moment alignment often feels like a settling of the sand that was previously whipped up in a storm. Alignment is a grounded center from which I can operate most courageously, confidently, creatively, and with calm.

If you’re a long-time reader of this newsletter, you’ve heard me say this before: if you want your life to be easier, you have to do the hard things. If you want your life to be harder, you continue to do the easy things.

Parts Work has become a bit more mainstream in the last couple of years. Like much of the rise of mental health care, TikTok and influencers “finding themselves” during Covid have resulted in some growing attention and awareness.

The habit of rescuing others from their pain and abandoning myself in the process. Not wanting anyone to be upset with me and wanting to please.

Do you know who you are?

Do you know who you are in the absence of your worries, fears, and the stories you tell yourself?

For me, it’s a remembering, unlayering and an ongoing process of returning back to my true self.

Ah, the holiday season. When manipulation, guilt, and boundary-crossing rage.

But what if the finger actually needs to point at yourself?

What if you, my dear friend, are gaslighting yourself?

When it comes to consuming information, I’ve found again and again and again is that our greatest tool is our own inner wisdom

I learned a new term last week called “Family Of Origin Amnesia”. It’s this idea that we totally forget our family of origin dynamics as time goes on and we’ve created space.

This type of framework, otherwise known as “attachment”, describes a psychological connectedness that begins during infancy and continues to build over time, eventually defining how we relate to friends, family members and even strangers.

These days we are consuming so much information that our own inner wisdom can get suffocated. We look to influencers, the media, online quizzes, podcasts and yes, even therapists, to tell us what to think, eat, how to move, who to date and what career to have.