The Process of Getting Into Alignment
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Hi, Community:
I was reflecting this week on why I cannot seem to muster up the words to share with you all. In truth, it’s because things have been especially vulnerable. In fact, they have been for quite some time.
I’m wrestling with some things. I’ve been stuck. I’ve been indecisive, questioning, doubting, grieving, and shifting.
I’ve been growing.
I’ve been growing in the direction of my deepest core values and yet, it’s been really, really hard. Because ultimately, it’s been breaking down a lot of things I thought I knew, systems and communities I thought I was connected to and bravely assessing what is in alignment with my highest values, purpose, and vision.
So today, I share a bit of this process. It’s messy - you’re warned!
TOOLS
I told you at the end of 2022 I’d circle back around with how my 2022 resolutions went. This promise held me accountable to do some reflecting. While I still have an acceptable relationship with Amazon and online ordering (the convenience really just is a true gift) and I have been found to be on my phone around my kids, I can say I’ve stepped it up in regards to no excuses for my health and managing my anxiety.
This last year I invested in a doctor to help me holistically understand and treat my health. It was 2 years ago when I was hit by a car and spun into a years-long process of healing physically. Mentally, it would be another year. Spiritually, I’m still in the thick of it.
And in this process, I finally returned back to an authentic approach to my holistic health. I found compassionate and balanced tools for taking care of myself. In 2023, I stepped it up and have been consistent, disciplined, and really proud of myself. In some ways, it’s the word “acceptance” in just knowing what needs to happen (like 5 am alarms) to make sure I take care of myself.
Even more so, I started tuning in, really tuning in, to the connection with myself and listening to my body’s needs and mental desires. It’s been about 10+ years since I’ve had such a gentle way of being with my body and it’s felt very, very freeing.
GRATITUDE
After my medicine treatment last summer, I had a few weeks of bliss and then I was thrown into life very quickly. We traveled internationally, had two family weddings, the holidays, and then a 3-week flu/Covid experience. It was not until 2023 that I finally felt my feet on the ground again.
When life spins out of control, I am grateful to even have knowledge of what my center is. I know that I’ve been quiet these last couple of months because I’ve been finding my way back to it. I’ve felt at some times like I’m trudging through thick mud to get there. I’ve been really confused, and conflicted, my mind being loud and then suspiciously quiet.
I’ve tried to make big decisions without answers, realign back to my values and recognize the discomfort of a slower, mindful, and intentional pace to my weeks. I’ve been confronted with a different version of myself and I’ve had to get to know her. She shows up differently. She’s more curious and brave. She’s reflective and seeking answers. She’s going places internally and externally that are unknown.
I never would have ventured in this way if not for the last few years of doing the work. I am 100% certain I am a different version of myself today than I was 2 years ago. We all are. It’s just a matter of whether it’s a version you like or not. Today, at this moment, I’m learning how to embrace and enjoy this “me” while learning about who “I am” with a much greater lens.
INNOVATION
2023 at Reset is our year of “refinement”. Refining our processes, our methodologies, and our connection with one another and the community. Yet even just 1 month into the year, we’ve been asked for more. We’ve been challenged to think bigger, grow bigger, meet the demand, and offer services outside of our scope.
When the mental health field seems to be booming, it’s been difficult to say, “Not now. Not for us right now”. It may seem simple to just copy and paste what we are doing and expand - open more offices, hire more therapists, and see more clients. If you’ve experienced Reset at all though, you know that what you get is a curated experience. We’re not the copy-and-paste type of brand.
How do you scale authentic, intimate relationships?
Healthcare for us is not a one-size-fits-all approach and we demand incredibly high standards of treatment from our team. We all empower each other with the latest and most creative tools and are constantly learning more. We have a culture of collaboration and exploration. We imbed ourselves into the local community, get to know the culture, and understand what our clients are experiencing.
Yet I know that this way of doing the work is the innovation needed in this field. I’m not sure yet how we help more people. We’re doing workshops, we’re going into schools and businesses and we’ve maxed out our two offices with amazing therapists. I know we’re being asked for more. I just haven’t figured out the how yet while staying core to our mission of redefining the mental health care experience for both clients and the clinicians doing this work.
In a world that is fast-paced and full of pressure, I’m having to stand strong and solid that the “how” will reveal itself. We’re trusting. We’re surrendering. We’re patient and intentional.
And boy is it vulnerable. But being vulnerable doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Vulnerability sometimes means you know you’re waiting for something bigger…
FEELS
And so this is where I end it tonight: being in alignment feels really vulnerable.
And that vulnerability isn’t so much the in-the-moment feeling. Because present moment alignment often feels like a settling of the sand that was previously whipped up in a storm. Alignment is a grounded center from which I can operate most courageously, confidently, creatively, and with calm.
But alignment is quiet. Alignment is subtle. Alignment is knowing the path I’m supposed to be on but not having a clear view of what’s next.
Alignment is trust. Blind trust.
Because my alignment is unique to me. No one has paved this road before. It demands me to step one foot in front of the other and allow the path to be revealed as I stay on it.
A lot of things can push me off this path and so alignment is also committing to my boundaries, saying “no” and letting myself respond versus react as life continues.
So, I’ve been quiet. I’ve been focused. I’ve stared at fear again and again in all its forms but I have not succumbed to its games and manipulation. This, I think, is the way it’s supposed to be. Not easy, but important.
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