TGIF | Letting Go and Embracing the Flow: Reflections on Turning 38
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Dear Community,
Today is my birthday, and as is tradition, it's a time for me to pause and reflect on the past year. This year, in particular, has been a journey of realignment.
The Constant Cycle of Doing and Letting Go
There's no denying it - I still have a lot to figure out, especially when it comes to parenting. This year has been a constant dance between overloading my plate and then needing to dramatically clear it all away. Like most of us, I've found myself burned out, overwhelmed, and consumed by anxiety. But here's the thing: that's life. It's full of ups and downs.
However, amidst the chaos, I've held onto one constant principle: life simply is. It just exists, as do I. What I mean by this is that life isn't meant to be controlled, manipulated, or resented. It's quirky, unpredictable, and even magical. It's both beautiful and brutal, exhausting and exhilarating.
The Power of Letting Go
Right after my birthday last year, I embarked on a retreat for my psychedelic-assisted therapy certification. Nestled in the Colorado mountains, I underwent ketamine-assisted therapy and was supported by a wonderful group during my integration process. Interestingly, this experience was unlike the psychedelic journey I'd had before. It wasn't painful or challenging; it was simply easy.
The profound message I received was clear: I needed to let go more. I needed to relax and simply enjoy the ride of life. So many of us fall into this trap of constantly needing to improve, achieve, and be better. The wellness industry thrives on this relentless pursuit of self-optimization. But seriously, who cares if you're eating clean if you can't seem to find a moment of peace?
This year, more than any other, the importance of letting go has resonated deeply with me. Despite the lessons learned from slowing down after my car accident a few years ago, I wasn't quite ready yet. Maybe it was because my kids were still young, or maybe I was simply afraid. The truth is, slowing down is scary. Saying no and simply being yourself feels incredibly vulnerable.
The Counterintuitive Magic of Surrender
Enjoying life, practicing gratitude, and trusting in the magic and abundance of the universe seem counterintuitive to everything we've been taught and conditioned to believe. But this year, I've truly felt its essence of surrender in a new way.
In my twenties, surrender and trust felt easier when I was searching for love and belonging. Back then, I didn't have a mortgage, a team of 30 employees, or two young children. Now, as a grown-up with responsibilities and people who depend on me, surrender feels far scarier.
Yet, whenever I clench too tightly, try to control everything, or obsess about the future, everyone around me suffers, including myself. My anxiety, ironically, offers a false sense of control.
Remembering the Magic
The other day, I reminded myself of all the magical moments from this past year - the unexpected joys, the outpouring of love, and the positive experiences that unfolded in ways I could never have imagined. When I choose to believe in the magic of life, my body relaxes. I can also find comfort in knowing that life encompasses pain, lessons learned through hardship, moments of pure bliss, and profound peace.
We are all part of something much bigger than ourselves. Just as I am an embodiment of everything and nothing, a vessel, a soul, a human, a spirit, and a tiny speck in the vastness of time and space, it's all fluid. We forget, don't we, that we aren't just the waves on the ocean's surface; we are the ocean itself. As Mitch Albom beautifully states in Tuesdays with Morrie, "You're not a wave, you're a part of the ocean."
Embracing Imperfections
As I embark on my 38th year, I do so with a newfound sense of ease. It won't be easy, of course. It will require dedication, practice, and constant reminders. But my intention for this year is to relax into simply being, to allow life to unfold, and to trust that I'll be okay, even when I mess up.
Yes, there will be those monthly spirals of panic and despair. I'll cry in the shower, yell at my kids, and neglect my husband. I'll experience physical tension, forget to marvel at a sunset, overindulge in coffee and champagne, worry about things I said, gossip, stub my toe, miss appointments - all the human things.
But through it all, I'll strive for some levity. We're all just figuring this thing called life out, one imperfect step at a time.
Thank YOU
As always, thank you for being here. Your presence humbles me, inspires me, and fills me with immense gratitude. Here's to another year of growth, vulnerability, and the beautiful mess that is being human.
Sending you all virtual hugs!
And this week’s TGIFs…
TOOL - I gifted myself an energy and birth chart reading from a local provider - just another tool to remember life is more than this day-to-day.
GRATITUDE— Tonight, I’m spending some quality time with friends at one of my favorite local places to enjoy being outside in the summertime and just have fun.
INNOVATION— I’ve been on a perfume hunt for the last few months after years of only wearing essential oils. It was important to me that I found something natural and made with quality ingredients and I found it! SALT is one of my go-to scents now.
FEELS—Most of all, I love quality time, so today, my little family is enjoying a full day outside, exploring our local community, eating good food, and soaking up precious moments (trying to, at least). I will cultivate my calm, playful energy to set a vibe for the whole family. When I’m exploring, I can more easily tap into it! Doing something new together is one of my favorite ways to connect.
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