TGIF | Remembering the Unseen: How Trauma Affects Us All
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Dear Community,
As I sit down to write this post, I'm thinking of a recent powerful novel I read that shook me. The Women, which shed light on the often-forgotten and mistreated Vietnam War veterans, especially women. Their stories, though fictional, are a sad reminder of the trauma and pain that many of our veterans have faced and continue to face long after the war has ended.
One of the novel's most striking aspects is its emphasis on dismissing these veterans' trauma. The main character, a nurse who served in Vietnam, returns home to a country that doesn't understand her experiences and doesn't want to hear about them. She's met with silence, indifference, and even hostility as if her service and sacrifice are somehow less worthy of recognition.
This is a stark contrast to the fanfare and celebration that often accompanies the return of our troops from more recent conflicts. And it's a reminder that we have a long way to go in honoring and supporting all of our veterans, regardless of their gender or the conflict they served in.
Memorial Day is a time to remember and honor those who have sacrificed in service to our country. But it's also a time to acknowledge the unseen scars of war, the trauma, and the pain that many of our veterans carry with them long after the fighting has stopped.
The Unseen Scars of War
War leaves deep scars, both physical and emotional. The trauma of combat, the loss of comrades, the guilt and shame that can come with survival – all of these can have a profound impact on a person's mental health and well-being.
But it's not just veterans who suffer from trauma. We all do. We've all experienced some form of pain or loss in our lives, and we've all been impacted by the trauma of those around us. The friend who was bullied in school, the family member who survived a natural disaster, the colleague who was assaulted on the job – all of these people carry scars that can't be seen but are just as real as any physical wound.
And yet, all too often, we ignore these scars. We tell people to "get over it," to "move on" and "forget the past." We pretend that trauma is something that only happens to others and that we're immune to its effects.
But the truth is that trauma affects us all. It affects our relationships, our work, and our overall well-being. It affects our communities, our society, and our world. And it's only by acknowledging and addressing our trauma that we can begin to heal.
Vicarious Trauma and Indirect Victims of War
But what about those who are impacted by war and oppression but aren't directly involved in the conflict? The families of veterans, the refugees fleeing war-torn countries, the communities affected by military occupation – these are all indirect victims of trauma, suffering from what's known as vicarious trauma.
Vicarious trauma occurs when we're exposed to the trauma of others, either through direct contact or through media and social media. It can lead to feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and despair and can even cause us to experience symptoms of PTSD.
Right now, as we watch the conflict in Gaza unfold, we're seeing the devastating impact of war on civilians, particularly children. We're seeing the trauma and pain etched on their faces, the fear and uncertainty in their eyes. And we're feeling it too – the helplessness, the hopelessness, the despair.
So, what can we do? We can start by acknowledging the trauma of those impacted by war and oppression. We can listen to their stories, amplify their voices, and support their healing. We can work towards creating a more just and peaceful world where conflict is a last resort and where the trauma of war is a thing of the past.
Transforming Through Pain
But here's the thing: trauma doesn't have to define us. We can transform through our pain and become stronger on the other side. I've seen it happen time and time again – the veteran who finds solace in art therapy, the survivor of abuse who finds their voice through writing, the person who finds healing through mindfulness and self-care.
In working with trauma, I have personally been in a held space with clients who can see their trauma through a new lens, experience it without all the blinding fear, and feel how their body needs to be released. Somatic therapy, trauma therapies, and deep healing modalities are incredible tools.
I have learned so much from my trauma clients. The most special moments when they speak to their inner children, reassure their current selves, and develop a trusting relationship with their future selves are pure magic to witness.
The thing is, these are the stories we need to tell, the stories we need to hear. These are the stories that will help us heal, transform, and move forward as we remember that we are not alone in our trauma.
Hugs to you all.
And this week’s TGIFs…
TOOL - An organization I’ve been active with since the start of my career is Give An Hour, where you work with veterans and their families to provide mental health and peer support. You, too can get involved by donating to their cause to help provide the tools of mental health care to this special population.
GRATITUDE— Okay, some levity here - I recently played this game with some friends and DIED laughing. It was so much fun and we all need some play in our lives. Joy and gratitude abound.
INNOVATION— I love, love this book, What My Bones Know, as told from a first perspective journalist with Complex PTSD. If you, or anyone you know, is a survivor of chronic trauma, I highly suggest it and the audio version is A+.
FEELS - So many people are walking around with trauma vibrating in their bodies. While it may not be awakened for them, as the people who witness and love them, we can practice compassion and understanding. When someone with trauma makes you upset, imagine them as that child who was hurt. Your loved one may be stuck there, thus acting from that childish age. Breathe. Try not to take it personally.
Click here for more on trauma therapy.