When Fear Distorts Vision
I’m not sure about you, but it’s been a week. As summer starts to come to a close, I’m hearing from more and more of you that it feels like moments of time are either enveloped in boredom or utter meltdown.
As the fall approaches, we are reckoning with the reality that this pandemic is not only far from over, but in some ways larger than ever. We’re seeing so many of our favorite things continuing to be delayed or cancelled.
Do we even remember how things used to be?
Many people have radically changed their behaviors by limiting social interactions, avoiding travel, distancing from loved ones, and only eating at home. You haven’t been to a work-out class in 1/2 a year, don’t remember what it’s like to get on a plane and haven’t given a hug to a friend since January.
As we brace ourselves for the inevitable that we’re going to be in this for the long haul, we are making harder and harder decisions. And somehow we have to make peace with that.
“What happened?”
“You let fear control you. Fear always distorts your vision. Know that you must find a way past your distorted vision.” —Ted Dekker
Fear distorts vision.
Fear also tends to make us make the wrong choices. Fear is self-preservation. Fear is shame, punishment and blame. Fear is ego and inner critic.
Fear is the absence of love.
Try this tool: Ask yourself with every action if it is a choice prompted by fear or love.
Would you do things differently?
In reflecting on this simple question, I’ve noticed when fear drives the decision:
saying “yes” to something for fear of disappointing someone
pushing myself to exercise while totally sleep deprived for fear of gaining weight
not speaking up for fear of saying the wrong thing and offending someone
not showing up for fear of being judged
not challenging what feels wrong for fear of drawing attention to myself
and some people may not wear a mask for fear of looking dramatic
Alternatively, when I choose from love, I see more of this:
saying “no” and setting a boundary because I love and value my time
sleeping in and resting because I love my body and it’s needs
standing up for something because I am showing love and compassion
putting myself in a place of vulnerability because I love to challenge myself to grow and think critically
allowing myself fun, play and freedom because I choose to live and love this life
wearing a mask because I love and respect the lives of others
being an ally and advocate because I love love and human goodness
What choices do you see you make out of fear?
Can you appreciate how things may be different if you made decisions instead out of love?
In the current climate of a global pandemic you may be thinking, “but I’m scared all the time! I’m so afraid! It’s driving every choice because it has to!”.
So, I challenge you in that thinking. Is it fear that drives your caution, or love for your life and your loved ones? Is it fear that led you to make the decision to pull your kid from school or love for her unique learning and safety?
When we reframe even the scary thoughts to love, typically the choice feels more authentic and we’re more at peace and less anxious. We have a clear vision. We’re not distorted by illusions, we’re clear on purpose. The purpose is love.
When you’re feeling the boredom in all that has been taken away and all that you do not have look forward to and melting down with the burn out, stress and confusion…step back and choose love.
We may not have a clear light at the end of the tunnel, but fear cannot be the driver of our next steps. It has to be love. We have to choose love. For ourselves, for others, for the future.
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