Slow Down to Speed Up
Last week, Kerry sent out an amazing T G I F letter to all of our newsletter subscribers about decision fatigue and burn out (want to join the slow down revolution? Click Here!) The concept of “slow down to speed up” really resonated with me. As I reflected on this, I thought about ways to help me slow down. Below is what has been working for me and I hope it helps you as well!
Check in if the decisions actually need to be made right now
One of the key points that Kerry made in that newsletter is that we should focus on making the best decision that we can in the moment that we are in and with the information that we have available to us. And sometimes, I feel an internal pressure to make a decision that feels urgent (for reasons such as worry about missing out on something, wanting to “get somewhere” by making a decision, etc. Any reason that makes you feel pressured to decide something right now.)
This is when I need to take a beat and step aside, become an observer of my life. I can imagine myself being in the middle of a situation and lifting myself up and out to the side so that I am standing outside of the situation as an observer. And then I can ask myself, typically in third person, questions such as:
Anna, are you being driven by fears of future potential losses you are imagining and are thus feeling internally pressured to make a decision immediately or is this truly a decision you need to make right now?
If you remove motivators such as fear, is this still an urgent decision you need to make or can you put it down for now and come back to it later?
Questions such as these remind me that even if something feels urgent to me, it doesn’t mean it necessarily is urgent. When we feel internal pressure of “now or never” when a situation isn’t actually of that type, we can begin to start feeling burnout and fatigued. So staying with what’s right in front of us will help us put one foot in front of the other.
Now, this does not mean to let go of foresight. You can still use logical reasoning to evaluate risk to the best extent that you can, with the information that you have, in the moment that you are in. All I’m saying is that once you reach the end of the information you have, you can try to get more but there may not be more information at that time. At this time, it could be beneficial to check in -- Is this truly an urgent decision? And if yes, what information do I know and I need to make a decision on this information alone or if no, what information do I know and I can leave this decision for later.
Do things that slow down your mind
When it’s time for me to slow down, I usually need to do something that helps slow down my mind. What this is truly depends on what kind of day I’m having and what I’m needing most in the moment. Sometimes, slowing myself down means to meditate. Sometimes it means to go for a run. Other times it means to engage in my work. Any activity that helps me let go of that decision and rest my attention on something not related and something that leaves me feeling better. It could be as simple as taking a shower, reading or talking to a friend on a non-related topic. Resting your mind in an activity that helps you feel more anchored in your body can help with either making decisions or being okay with letting things digest more before making a decision. Either way, it could help put more at ease which is always a good idea in my book.
Activities to slow down your mind
Gently redirect your attention to rest on some activity that would feel anchoring or relaxing in a restorative way. Some ideas include,
Engage in reading something
Move your body, dance, exercise, go for a swim or a walk
Sing!
Cook/bake something
Make a random gift for someone in your life
Write a card to a friend
Shower, care for your skin, give yourself a massage, brush your hair, etc. with the intention of caring for yourself (aka use a lotion you like and take notice of it’s aroma. Be present with yourself during this time. It may feel like pampering and that’s a good thing! Some pampering can put us at ease that we need to move on to make better decisions.)
Look at your rock collection (don’t collect rocks? Think about what little things you collect, if any, and look through them, maybe old postcards?)
Focus on your breath or do some open awareness meditations. The one I’ve been doing recently is alternating between open and closed awareness meditation.
Meditation of the day -- Open-Closed Awareness Alternation
Using the free app Insight Timer, set a timer for 8 minutes with a bell at the beginning, at every 2 minute interval, and a bell for the end. So it looks like this:
Find a comfortable position, somewhere you feel safe and won’t be distrubed. Arrive in the moment, in this space, position and time. Play the timer.
First bell rings -- Keeping your eyes open, guide your attention to the sounds you hear around yourself. And then the sights you see around you. The smells you see around you. The sensations you are feeling, thoughts you might be thinking. Noticing and letting all the sensory information around you be there, as it is, without you having to do anything about it, without having to make a story, you are simply in open awareness of the world around you and the world within you.
2nd bell rings at minute 2 -- Now either lower your gaze down or close your eyes. Gently guide your attention to your breath. You will continue to get distracted from your breath, this is to be expected. Ever so gently note, note that you’ve been distracted and guide yourself back to rest your attention on your breath. This is closed awareness or focused attention.
3rd bell rings at minute 4 -- Open your eyes and engage with open awareness again.
4th bell rings at minute 6 -- Lower your gaze or close your eyes and engage with closed awareness.
Last bell at minute 8 -- Open your eyes and take a long inhale in and a long exhale out to conclude the practice.
Slowing down to speed up is a concept that I will keep reflecting on because I find there is much to learn there. I hope it is helpful to you as well.
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