TGIF | Surrendering to Stillness: Navigating Anxiety Through Trust and Inner Healing
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Dear Community,
I want to share a bit of my personal process. I hope it aids you in your own journey…
“I am safe to live this life.” This mantra has been my constant companion lately, a reminder that I need to trust in the present moment and let go of the anxiety that has plagued me for decades. It's a steady noise, a background tape of worry that persists despite proof that things are okay. I am resilient and know that everything is figure-outable, but the noise persists.
Anxiety is a relentless and exhausting companion, always future-tripping and planning the next decade of my life. She makes food choices challenging, taking me away from listening to my hunger and instead pausing in front of the fridge in analysis paralysis. But Anxiety is also my friend, a soldier who has made me respond quickly to things, think on my feet, and take some chances.
Ego and Anxiety go hand in hand, like jam and butter. Ego needs me to be presentable, attractive, and likeable, and it uses Anxiety as a tool to ensure that I perform, present, and belong. But when I cultivate stillness and witness this relationship with compassion, I can see Anxiety and smile. I can see her role in it all, and I laugh at Ego not in mockery but awe. Man, Ego works hard.
And gosh, the shame stories that drive it all - all the memories of pain, rejection, and hurt - of course, we want to avoid feeling those. Thank you, Ego and the steady sidekick, Anxiety, for keeping those painful feelings at bay. However, acknowledging and appreciating them is not enough. Analyzing, understanding, and even talking to them is not enough. It's a step, of course, but it keeps me still disconnected from what I must feel.
A teacher of mine recently shared this passage from Jeff Brown,
"Knowing our issues is not the same as healing our issues. In fact, knowing is entirely incongruent with the experience of surrender required to heal. I have known many who could name their patterns and issues - almost like they had done a science experiment on their own consciousness - but nothing changed because they refused to come back down into their bodies and move their feelings through to transformation".
Ah, there it is. Come back down into our bodies. I have many clients (myself included at times) who prefer to over-intellectualize their experiences. It's safer up there, isn't it? In the mind. But the body - the body requires patience, stillness and listening. Yin yoga cultivates the power of slow, intentional movement and stillness. I hold poses for 5-7 minutes, breathing, opening, and quiet. No fast movements, no distractions, no avoiding the discomfort that arises. In Yin, we stay with the feelings, and that's where the transformation happens.
As Jeff Brown continues, "The key to the transformation of challenging patterns and wounds is to heal them from the inside out. Not to analyze them, not to watch them like an astronomer staring at a faraway planet through a telescope, but to jump right into the heart of them, encouraging their expression and release.”
That's where trust and surrender come in. When we drop into the "heart of things," we can trust that nothing is meant to hurt us, only heal us. The body is a wise and compassionate container, always seeking to aid in our transformation. It welcomes us in with open arms, inviting us to drop into its wisdom. But we often resist, afraid of the discomfort that may arise. We analyze and intellectualize, trying to control and manipulate our experiences. We forget that the body is a powerful ally, always seeking to guide us towards healing and growth.
When we trust in this wise container, we can surrender into stillness, releasing the need for control and power. We can surrender to the releasing, even as it may be an uncomfortable experience. Surrender is not a weakness but a strength. It takes courage to let go of control and trust in the unknown.
I've witnessed clients drop into their bodies and access pain they've locked away for decades. They heave, tremble, cry, itch, and scratch. They release. I can tell a lot from a client by how willing they are to sit in a hip opener. When I taught yoga, it was apparent who left early in the final resting pose, savansana. We must allow, create spaciousness, and give the body permission to let go. We must stay, even in the discomfort.
Perhaps for you, too, it’s a remembering. Return to the body, I hear the whisper. Slow down, she calls. Despite my Anxiety resisting, I make space to drop in, to feel, to let go. I trust the body can hold me and help me release. I surrender. I am safe to live this life.
And this week’s TGIFs…
TOOL - I mentioned one of my teachers above - Hannah Rose Alexander. She has a lovely online portal, The Sanctuary, which I highly recommend.
GRATITUDE— For spring weather. So much magic in the blooming season. This is my favorite time of year, as the wet Earth rebirths what was dormant and recovering. It’s a reminder for our human selves, too. We’re all one.
INNOVATION— After reading this book and watching this documentary, I’m off eating octopuses. They have survived on this Earth for 330 million years. Clearly, they know much more than us humans. We have a lot to learn from these remarkably bright creatures.
FEELS - Addressing our nervous system and perception of stress is fundamental to establishing equilibrium within… to be a gateway to access our deeper feelings. As hormones move around with age, this slowing down is even more imperative. Join me and Mel Sulaver in just 2 weeks for a wonderful Women’s Circle - Power to the Peri - for all those peri-menopause curious and in it. Hope to see you there. We’re almost all sold out!
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