Emotional Effects of Stress: And What to do About it
It’s no doubt that this is an especially stressful time for many. And life without a pandemic can be just as stressful as what we are experiencing now. So becoming aware of the signs and symptoms of stress can help us notice when we might need a little extra help, a low key weekend, or even just a nap. Something to keep in mind is that stress is not inherently bad for us; it is actually a helpful tool that helps us survive, say, an encounter with a bear. When it’s time for you to run fast, you better hope your body starts pumping blood and getting your heart ready for such a burst of energy. Imagine your body going into rest and digest in that moment and how dangerous and useless that would be. Chronic stress, which is a constant pressure rather than an acute one, and the type of stress many of us are experiencing in our society that values busyness, exhaustion and productivity at all costs, drives many health issues today. While emotional effects are certainly a part of stress, don’t forget about the body and behavioral responses as well.
Emotional Effects of Stress
Stress can show up in people in a variety of ways. When it comes to emotions, the common list is (which is not exhaustive):
Anxiety
Sadness or depression
Restlessness
Fear
Frustration or anger
Lack of motivation or focus
Feeling overwhelmed
And these feelings don’t exist in isolation, people can have any collection of them and the feelings often feed one another. Then can also produce physical responses that make a person feel even worse. For example, feelings of anxiety can come up as feelings of a hole in the stomach, or nausea, or general feeling of unwellness in the body. This is why it’s also important to assess your physical symptoms.
Physical Effects of Stress
The following is again not an exhaustive list but help you begin to explore your physical sensations so you can bring more awareness to yourself and how you are doing:
Nausea
Indigestion
Fatigue
Muscle Tension/Pain
Chest or stomach pains
Change in sex drive
Sleep problems
Headaches
Memory Problems
A third aspect of the effects of stress on a human is how it affects our behavior.
Behavior Effects of Stress
Stress can drive us to behave in a way that we might not otherwise. I’ve once kicked my vacuum after a particularly incredibly stressful day (now I have much safer methods of stress relief such as twisting a pool noodle. Seriously, try it, it’s amazingly cathartic).
Angry or aggressive outbursts
Become indecisive
Inflexible
Overeating/Under-eating
Drug/Alcohol misuse
Tobacco use
Social withdrawal
Become less active/exercise less
Mood swings
Compulsive behaviors
So now that we can assess some symptoms of stress, what do we actually do about the effects of stress?
Tip 1: Consider how much of your current chronic stress is driven by feelings of uncertainty.
Uncertainty is something that humans tend to naturally resist. We want to know what’s coming next, we want to feel comforted by clarity and not spurred by ambiguity. Uncertainty is always present in life. That can be a hard truth to stop resisting. We cannot control that, yet we can control our fear of it and how “suspended” we feel when faced with it. A wonderful article was recently published by the Greater Good Science Center sharing Seven Ways to Cope with Uncertainty. Give it a read, I found their advice quite illuminating, like the one about Stop looking for someone to save you (quote below).
“Our friends might want to save us—because helping others makes people feel good—and their intentions may be noble. But rescuers tend to be better enablers than saviors...On the other hand, emotionally supportive friends (or therapists) see us as capable of solving our own problems. They ask questions that help us focus on what we do want instead of what we don’t.”
Tip 2: Stay in-tune with yourself and seek help when you can use an extra hand.
Two months ago, I was struggling to keep myself on track with my personal goals. I know that I’m a capable person, one who has often demonstrated that I can take steps to reach my goals. And yes, I couldn’t begin the process. I needed help. Because I was open to help, when an email came across my “desk” saying that my alumni organization is offering professional coaching for six weeks at a very reasonable rate, I immediately reached out. I needed someone to help keep myself accountable (aka go through the list of steps I wanted to complete each week and see where I’m at with each of them) and, honestly, maybe more importantly, I simply needed a witness. Someone with a skilled approach to say, “I see you and I can reflect back to you so you can see yourself better too.” Remember, Reset offers free 20 minute consultations if you are wondering or considering if you could use an extra hand as well.
Tip 3: Offer yourself grace and compassion. An active stance of kindness towards yourself.
It’s so easy to turn against yourself. The amount of violent communication and judgement we pour into ourselves is something that comes from previous generation’s survival techniques that don’t make sense as we begin to gain greater understanding of humans. Yet, using methods of internal and external punishments is something that many of us have internalized as truth for greater motivation, achievement, etc. and thus are faced with either continuing down that path or undoing the conditioning. How to begin to undo the conditioning? Simply starting with the 5 Compassion Break and learning the three components of self-compassion has gone a long way for me.
As we continue to navigate life’s inherent uncertainty and chronic stress, we can feel reassured that there are real tools that provide real support with being able to feel anchored rather than untethered, grounded rather than suspended, and at ease rather than in fear paralysis.
Click here to learn more about therapy for stress.
