TGIF | The Most Important Thing I Do for My Mental Health
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Dear Community,
I know things feel a bit off lately. We’re deep into the sick season. Tragedies in our local communities continue to strike. The grief and loss in California are overwhelming. Hope and optimism about the next four years remain tenuous.
So today, I want to share the most crucial practice I have for my mental health. This is a practice I’ve kept steady (mostly) for my entire adult life. It’s one that, when I stop it, I feel it—not right away, but generally, three months later, the consequences of having let this practice go hit me physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally.
When the world feels unsteady, I invite you to cultivate your own solid ground. Here’s how I do it.
Creating Space
Remember how last week I talked about spaciousness as an intention for 2025? Well, I’m doubling down now as we dive into the concept of creating space, more specifically, creating space for a sacred hour.
What is a sacred hour? It’s uninterrupted, completely non-negotiable time devoted to your productive self-care. While many of us defend that self-care looks like more sleep, listening to a podcast, slowly drinking coffee, and journaling, I’m asking you to think bigger.
The sacred hour I’m talking about involves all five of our tenets for holistic mental wellness: rest, nourishment, breath, movement, and connection.
Well-Rounded Well-Being
Abundant science backs these pillars and explains why we promote them so much. Yet, so few of us actually practice or embody these essential aspects of mental wellness. Why? You tell me... but I know (because I’ve been there) it has to do with stress, priorities, people-pleasing, self-sacrificing, unworthiness, and fear of failure.
We often excuse our behaviors by blaming time—or the lack thereof. Yet, through decades of working with clients, I know that time is just a construct. What holds us back is ourselves.
Instituting an hour where you hit all five of these pillars is not only attainable but essential if you want to work through any obstacle: stress, confidence, relationship woes, grief, depression, anxiety, trauma, body image, and performance issues.
A Consistent Routine
Many of my clients struggle with self-worth. It’s layered and complicated. However, if we fail to show up for ourselves consistently, we will never move toward valuing ourselves. Read that again.
The truth is, many of us do not feel deserving of a full, healthy, amazing life. We have stories of not-enoughness that interfere with every success. These stories inform our food choices, how we move our bodies, the time we go to sleep, our phone habits, our interactions with others, and where our minds wander.
When we decide (and it’s a choice) to commit to doing the hard thing every single day by taking 1 hour to care for ourselves, we’re rewriting our stories. We’re positioning ourselves to believe in our worth, to build strength and empowerment, and to feel so good about ourselves that we can let so much other stuff go.
My Mental Wellness Routine
I want you to find what works for you, but to give you a little encouragement, here is my routine step by step. Now, I’m not perfect, and when my alarm goes off, I wrestle with my sleepy mind. I, too, binge-watch Yellowstone and sometimes stay up too late, which throws things off—kind of like that extra glass of wine does. But the key is that I rarely miss more than two days in a row. If I miss months (as I have during certain seasons of my life), I always find a way to return to this routine. I can look back and directly tie more emotionally volatile times to the absence of this routine. Talk about consistency.
My Best Mental Health Routine
8:30-9pm: Plug in phone in the kitchen. Go upstairs for the night. Put exercise clothes in the bedroom bathroom.
9:30pm: Lights out. Be asleep by 10pm. If someone needs me, tough. Ask your father ;)
5:20am: Alarm wakes me up. Get out of bed. Get dressed.
5:30am: Have 10 oz warm lemon water. Make & drink green smoothie (greens powder, collagen, electrolytes, fiber). Drink 5 oz coffee, black.
6am: Warm up and do a 45-minute workout (weights, HIIT, endurance cardio, yoga, rotating).
6:45am: Stretch, cool down, and sauna time.
Until 7:15am: Meditation in the sauna, choose one from the Insight Timer app.
During this hour, my Opal App blocks all other apps/browsers other than my meditation and fitness apps so there’s no scrolling allowed.
7:15am: Mom time. Make lunches, pack snacks, get kids to school.
8:15am: Make a giant green smoothie with fresh veggies and fruits plus added protein powder for post-workout recovery.
8:30am: Start the workday.
As you can see, I hit all the pillars:
Rest: Prioritizing sleep hygiene ensures I get 7-8 hours of sleep to wake up rested for the next day.
Breath: Meditation and moving my body are key.
Nourishment: By 8am, I’ve drunk 62 oz of liquid. I start my day with detoxifying lemon water and then a protein/carb-balanced greens drink. This curbs sugar cravings and fuels my workout. I also block any social media consumption!
Connect: Quiet time to myself before everyone else wakes up is priceless. Social connections are fabulous, but I’ve found that connecting to myself is most important for my mental health.
Move: I do this for my mental health. Sure, I like feeling stronger, but moving my body is imperative for mental strength above all else.
As I mentioned, I’ve been doing some variation of this since I joined the workforce decades ago. Friends, I hope you find some inspiration today or validation if you’re already doing something like this. Please share it with me; I’d love to hear from you.
Remember, you’re never, ever alone on this journey.
Hugs.
This week’s Tools, Gratitude, Innovation, Feels
Tools
I’ve tried a lot of meditation practices, and while each informed a chapter in my journey, I find that I repeatedly go back to Insight Timer as a tool to guide me.
Gratitude
I have to say, I love the feeling that by 9 am I’ve already accomplished so much. My morning routine gives me the energy to tackle the first shift (work) and second shift (parenting), powering through a 16-hour day. I’m grateful for the gift I give to myself each day to sustain this.
Innovation
I mentioned my alarm clock earlier, and it is a game-changer for waking me up while not arousing the rest of my house (or bed!). It’s gentle and soothing and also gives me that vital sunlight exposure first thing. I cannot find my version online anymore, but this one has great reviews for only $30!
Feels
You know that feeling of being behind? That’s how I feel when I wake up with my kids instead of ahead of them. I feel rushed, disconnected, and foggy. The 60 minutes of “mama’s me time” each morning allows for such a smoother transition to the day. My me-time benefits everyone. There’s nothing selfish about that.