TGIF: Slow Down to Speed Up
It’s that time of year when I get nostalgic. There’s something in the air as the school year starts. The smell of pencils, the sound of Fall sports and the feeling of muggy summer air. There’s also this tornado that can sweep the end of summer from under us so quickly that we blink and it’s Halloween. So right now, I want us to all remember to slow down.
Here’s how…and not in the ways you may think.
TOOLS
Whether you are a parent or not, I imagine you may be feeling slight worry about Covid and heading back indoors. Personally, I bulked up on hand sanitizer and new masks for the family.
As your loved ones may be venturing into the office, schools or just out and about more I offer these tools that all require some slowing down but with huge payoffs:
Literally talk about it. Normalize that there may be worry about heading back into public places indoors. Allow space at your dinner tables and car rides for spouses, kids, friends to communicate their concerns, general thoughts and feelings.
Everyone has been home for so long that we must anticipate homesickness so do little things to help ease the transition. Put extra care into packing lunches with special notes. Ensure there’s routine with how the mornings and evenings look. Be present during commutes, have conversations together and don’t allow screen time during those transition moments. Talk about what might feel good as a family!
Although for many people sending a spouse or kiddo back to the office or school is liberation, not everyone may feel the same celebration. Make sure you are taking the time to sit with your loved one’s feelings, feel like what it would be like to be in their shoes and empathize. Don’t be so quick to rush into your own excitement for personal freedom and dismiss their experience.
If this whole transition is causing you stress, anxiety and grief then take the time to process your own feelings. Remember that our attitudes are contagious so we have to be aware and reflective on our own inner experiences. Create space to recognize your feelings and process them - with a therapist, movement, a good cry, journal or whatever way feels good for you. Just don’t ignore the impact of this moment.
GRATITUDE
This may sound cheesy but I’m literally falling in love with trees. Since reading the Overstory last year, Braiding Sweetgrass and visiting the Redwoods prior to that, I’ve become so fascinated with these tall wonders. I’ve now developed in my weekly routine a practice of walking through the woods. I’m so grateful I have a tiny .25 mile wooded trail less than a mile from my house. I make a trip of it, taking a long neighborhood walk and then getting to end my route in the woods.
The Beech trees are my favorite. They are so big, reach so high and their bark is magnificent. So much so that people have carved names, initials and designs into their sides for what seems like years.
This week I found myself called to one tree. She had a pattern on her bark that resembled an eye. Beech trees are known to be of feminine spirit, seen as the queen or goddess tree in many cultures. The reason so many carve into her is because folklore tells us that she grants our wishes.
Before I knew this about the Beech, I saw hurt and damage being done to her. I caught myself tearing up and worried for her. I apologized to her for what people have done.
A week later I saw her with fresh perspective. I saw her as purposefully here to be scarred. I saw her happy with her wounds, for that is her purpose. She heals quickly because she gives herself to the fortunes of those beings who mark upon her.
INNOVATION
You see, as we look to find our purpose we mustn’t be afraid of how much it asks of us. How much we’ll sacrifice or lose. How much we’ll be in pain.
What causes suffering is when we’re not living our truth, not in alignment and not serving in the way that is meant for us.
We’ve all been there: when we’re pushing and forcing and struggling in jobs, hobbies, relationships and we cannot seem to reach that point of contentment. We get these ideas in our head of what we are supposed to do….even if it’s no longer for us. These ideas come out of cultural expectations, family expectations, comparison, norms, standards, passed down beliefs and a lot of times fear.
I know this feeling because I’ve been there time and time again. What is comfortable, easy and familiar feels like the right answer. But what if we leapt towards what challenges us, scares us and makes us feel alive?
One of my favorite quotes is:
“And the Day Came When the Risk to Remain Tight In a Bud Was More Painful Than the Risk It Took to Blossom.” – Anais Nin
FEELS
Here is the thing: we will never get to understand how and why we are feeling stuck if we never take the time to get curious about it. This is what slowing down is really all about. In fact, this is what Reset is really all about.
We start with habit building to just simply build moment to moment, day to day awareness of our patterns, beliefs, behaviors and thoughts. From there we eventually create enough space to interrupt those habits with more intentional, mindful responses. It’s in those subtle shifts that we make day to day that we start to see things with more clarity as we’re less reactive and less in stress mode. We get off the hamster wheel.
Stepping off the treadmill is your freedom. From there, you can give yourself perspective to then choose what to do, where to go, who to engage with next. You can take the bold direction, move vigorously towards the direction of your dreams, achieve wild success, have more happiness than ever imagined…
But you first must slow down.
So as summer sheds her humidity, take this time to set up new habits. Imagine what your weekly structure could look like if you said “no” more. Could you build in more time in nature? Rush less? Ask for help more? Stop putting so much pressure on yourself to do all the things?
Click here to learn more about mindfulness therapy.
