Coping with Covid Aftermath
As more people get vaccinated and the world opens up, what is your life like during Covid’s aftermath? How are you re-entering the workspaces, schools, playgrounds, parties, family reunions, weddings, gyms, play dates? Are you bringing back the routines you had before, or restructuring your life’s rhythms to something else?
Even if these questions are not explicitly asked in our daily lives, they are there, lingering in the air as we transition once again from one rhythm of life to the next. Transitions are hard. Even transitions that go well are hard since they inherently remind us of time’s unstoppable steady march forward. Moving from summer fun to school schedules is one of those transitions that is about to happen around the corner. During these times, it can be useful to bring awareness to where you are living mentally. And to help ourselves label where we might be in the moment, below you will find five ways to think about mental and emotional time traveling.
The Reminiscent Past
During the depth of the pandemic, I was spending a lot of time traveling here: reminiscing about what my life used to look like and inevitably comparing it to what it was like now. Reminiscing though doesn’t have to be a way to tread on the present or make us into the “the good old days” people. It can be a useful tool to center ourselves in the present moment. First of all, the past is known to us, and that alone can bring a sense of grounding when we face uncertainty.
Here’s some ideas of type of reminiscing could help you find some peace in the moment:
Think of times when you’ve faced and moved through transitions. Focus on (or even list) the resiliency qualities in yourself during that time, reminding yourself of your natural ability to adapt and survive.
Re-experience a pleasant memory. Do you have a memory of swimming in a lake, or being at a fun party, or anything that gives you a sensation of ease and expansiveness? It’s easy to slip into “I wish I was there now” after traveling to this memory, but you could also remind yourself how great that was to experience and allow a grateful heart to hold this space.
Open yourself to a compliment from the past.. Think of a time when someone has given you a genuine compliment. It doesn't have to be huge or something deeply meaningful, just a genuine acknowledgement from another person. Experience being seen and valued.
The Traumatic Past
Perhaps last year’s back to school was a sh*tshow. And all you can think about is how it all went wrong, how unbearable it felt, how you couldn’t do it all and yet were needing to do it all. Perhaps you are living it so vividly that you are dreading what’s to come, no matter how much your logical mind tells you that it’ll be different this time. If you are stuck in this past, it’s good to bring awareness to this. You may not be able to do anything about it right away but simply knowing that that’s where you’ve time travelled can ease the sensations vivid memories can bring. If you notice that you are time traveling often into the past, it may be useful to take a PTSD screening questionnaire. Traumatic memories often get stuck in the “waiting room” of our brain’s processing center. This means a person with unprocessed trauma relives the event as if it is happening now. There are evidence-based ways to help our brain and bodies process that trauma so that we are not sent back to this time over and over again.
The Present
Are you aware of your physical surroundings, internal experience of your body, and are you engaged with what you are doing at the moment (including if you are simply bored and doing nothing)? Being in the here and now can feel uncomfortable, and even unsettling. Staying present can feel like putting your guard down. If you are struggling to stay present, give yourself a break. When you feel kicked out of the flow of life, give yourself some active kindness. Place a hand on your opposite shoulder or on your chest, remind yourself that you care (you can even say to yourself “I care about you, I’m here for you”) and simply note that being fully present is not something you can do right now. And that’s okay. With this awareness, perhaps you can time travel to a helpful reminiscent past or to an exciting future to ground and center so you can return to yourself fully in this moment.
The Anxious Future
Calling all worriers! If you tend to have catastrophizing thoughts, obsess over the what ifs, and try to plan for every possible negative outcome or event, you may have traveled to the anxious future. I like to think of this as my brain and body’s attempt to protect me, but like an overly protective dog that lunges at every person who walks by, it can become less useful for its original intent. Ask yourself: Am I doing a reasonable risk analysis or am I thinking of all the awful things that can happen in the future?
A risk analysis involves clearly identifying the threat (aka, a specific human, your reputation, natural disaster, etc.), defining the levels of risk and impact of the identified threat (aka how likely are you to encounter and be impacted by that person, reputation loss, natural disaster), thinking of how to mitigate the risk and implementing these solutions. The opposite end of that is thinking about how awful something will be and stewing in the sensations of that potential horrible experience. So if you are in the anxious future, could you time travel back to the present (e.g. look around your space and note every green item you see), a reminiscent past or an exciting future?
The Exciting Future
Ah, the daydreamers, welcome. We love the thrill of the exciting future - open possibilities, exciting adventures, purifying feelings and engaging positive experiences. There are lots of benefits to visualizing an exciting future, including giving yourself hope for change. Like most things in life, however, too much of a good thing can yield unwanted results. So if you feel stuck in dreamland and coming back to the present moment feels like a “thump!” back into reality rather than an inspired sense of ability, you may want to pair your dreaming with a method called WOOP. It combines the power of dreaming about our wishes with the reality of taking steps towards realizing them. If you are interested in reading more research about it, you can search the keywords “Mental Contrasting with Implementation Intentions” in Google Scholar.
Check in with yourself, where are you now?
Time travelling is not inherently “bad” or useless or only used for escaping the present moment. It can actually be quite useful! Bringing awareness to which state of mental time you are currently living can help you make more intentional decisions - ones that are best for you - as you navigate transitions in life. So as you go to buy all of those school supplies, as you prep for hectic mornings, as you think about the upcoming transitions, reflect on which mental time traveling you might be doing and how that is serving or not serving you. Remember to exhale. You are strong and brave, you are resilient.
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