TGIF | Can Stress Ever Be Healthy?
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Dear Community,
What a week. On Monday, my husband and I remarked that it had already been a long week. You, too?
I was so thankful on Tuesday when our Reset team had the opportunity to learn from Tim Mann of Train The Brain. Not only did we validate some of our perspectives on stress, but we also learned and experienced some new things.
It was the reset I needed, and much of our team felt the same.
I want to share with you this week about good stress. I often talk about the impacts of stress in this column, but today, let's flip the script and dive into when stress can be healthy and beneficial for your mental, physical, and emotional well-being.
The Differences Between Good and Bad Stress
Ever notice how some stress energizes you while other stress feels like it's crushing your soul? That's because not all stress is created equal. Healthy stress—often called "eustress"—is that sweet spot that pushes you just enough to grow, like when you're learning something new or preparing for a big presentation. It comes, it serves its purpose, and then it goes.
But unhealthy stress? That's the kind that overstays its welcome, making your body constantly feel like you're being chased by a lion. It's the difference between the motivating flutter before taking a risk in your business versus the paralyzing midnight anxiety about things you can't control.
One propels you forward; the other keeps you stuck.
I love to teach groups and clients about this concept through our Cycle of Stress framework, an adaptation of Mindfulness-Based CBT. When we look at our daily stressors, we notice a separation from our chronic stressors. We see that we can choose whether to build daily stress into chronic stress through our mindset. But today's not about that. You can learn more through our Mindfulness 101 workshops :)
Inviting Good Stress
This week served as a powerful reminder, reinforced by two speakers I encountered: small, intentional micro-stressors can prepare your body for life's bigger challenges.
What does that mean?
When you invite good stress in, you're essentially training your system to handle the unexpected stressors that are beyond your control with greater resilience and composure.
Intentionally stressing your system with these minor stressors builds resilience. It's a way of training for the bigger things. When your entire brain and body system approaches and handles smaller stressors well, you affirm to yourself that you can handle hard things.
Types of Good Stress Practices
There are a few very accessible, low-cost ways to intentionally challenge your system with stress and start building resilience and stress management success:
Exercise. Yes, you've heard this before. But beyond the dopamine and endorphin benefits, exercise is testing your entire system and proving to yourself that yes, you can challenge yourself and still be okay. You do this by raising your heart rate, by moving to your edge in a yoga pose, pushing for that extra rep until fatigue, overcoming the burn as you climb that incline. You've experienced it before- the high you get after a hard workout. When you conceptualize exercise as an intentional stress management practice, it may motivate you to keep movement as a non-negotiable part of your routine. Research shows that regular physical activity increases the size of the hippocampus, the brain region responsible for memory and stress regulation.
Breathwork. As I mentioned, we had Tim Mann of Train The Brain with us this week, and he led us in a breathwork experience. Emphasis on the work. I have generally considered breathing exercises a way to calm down and relax. However, when we intentionally use our breath for activation, challenging our system through longer holds and faster breaths, we're once again placing micro stress on our system. The reward is literally a brain-body reset. Studies from Stanford University have shown that controlled breathing exercises can activate the parasympathetic nervous system, counteracting the stress response and improving emotional regulation within minutes.
Cold Exposure. I don't want to do this. I don't want to know the science behind why this is good for me. Because I live in Michigan and I don't want to be colder voluntarily. However, the science is real—just 30-60 seconds of cold exposure can trigger norepinephrine release, reducing inflammation and improving mood—and it's worth a shot. We get incredible benefits of 10 long breaths or just 30 seconds in the shower, slowly making it colder each time. Something to work up towards.
Public Speaking. Now, for some of you, this may be no big deal, but even as a seasoned public speaker, I still know this is a stressful endeavor. I love large group forums, but I also know I need my electrolyte water to help with the adrenaline surge I get each time I present. Despite it being where I feel most in my flow and zone of genius, there is still a steady amount of stress, good stress, coursing through me to keep me focused, engaged, and on my toes. Research from the Journal of Psychophysiology shows that the elevated heart rate and cortisol spike from public speaking, when managed properly, can enhance cognitive performance and memory formation by up to 30%.
Learning a New Skill. Learning something new is stressful! I tried learning the guitar a couple of years ago and quit because I couldn't carve out the time for practice. However, I know the value of trying something and the reward I get from my accomplishment. I've been learning French this year, and it's a super fun challenge that takes me 10-15 minutes a day. Another good, stressful challenge I give myself is doing the Wordle and Mini-Crossword games on NY Times Games every day. A 2023 study in Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews found that adults who consistently learned new skills showed a 23% improvement in working memory and experienced significantly lower chronic stress levels.
Why This Matters
You know those days when the news cycle feels like one continuous emergency alert? When you are juggling family needs, work demands, and that persistent feeling that you should be doing more? That's precisely when intentional good stress becomes your secret weapon. By deliberately challenging yourself through these practices, you're reclaiming your power in a world that often feels beyond your control. You're saying: "I choose this discomfort," rather than having it thrust upon you unexpectedly.
Your brain and body don't just want comfort—they crave meaningful challenge for growth. When you intentionally expose yourself to manageable stress, you're essentially building your resilience muscle, expanding your capacity to handle whatever life throws your way. It's like installing an emotional shock absorber that helps you navigate life's inevitable bumps with more grace and less reactivity.
Because let's face it—change is constant, challenges are guaranteed. The question isn't if you'll face stress, but how prepared you'll be when it arrives. So choose your hard things today, and watch how much stronger you become for tomorrow's uncertainties.
As I’ve said repeatedly, I have to tell myself that when I’m exhausted by the routine of it all, we do the hard things so life will be easier (i.e., I can manage challenges better).
Personally, this lesson couldn’t have come at a better time. We’re building out our fifth office, a new location in Metro-Detroit that plans to open early summer. Because I’ve learned how to embrace the good stress, I know I can handle all that this challenging new chapter will bring. (deep breaths, silent internal screams…)
Friends, we’re all riding this roller coaster together, and boy, are there some big drops. Big hug to you for being here, reading this, and trying your best. We can do it.
This week’s Tools, Gratitude, Innovation, Feels
Tools
Want to try the breathing tool the Reset team learned this week? Check out this video to do it at home. Remember, it’s work, and never do this while in the water, while driving, or if you’re pregnant or have heart-related concerns. Check with your doctor first!
Gratitude
Once a quarter, our team gets together for a fun, experiential gathering tied to what we’re learning. This quarter, we took a deep dive into somatic therapy and then ended together doing breathwork. But the best part? Circling up our yoga mats and just connecting over the experience. Heart, filled. I’m so grateful for this team.
Innovation
I’ve found that the men in my life (ahem, my husband) who enjoy movement and motivation, wellness practices, and instill good stress practices have high rewards. Good stress practices hit on the competitive nature of many men while at the same time making them better at handling their triggers. It’s a win-win.
Feels
Some may call me an adrenaline junkie… I tend to go towards risk and challenge without much hesitation. But I really think it’s because I’ve been so lucky to experience the payoff - that swell of self-confidence when you know you just did something really hard. My favorite Peloton app instructor says that those who intentionally push themselves into discomfort are uncommon, and something in that description feels motivating. I hope you can feel into that - trusting yourself that you can also do hard things. I believe in you.