Are You Aware All Year?

Depression Therapy
Written By Kerry Biskelonis

Today is World Suicide Prevention Day.

What does that mean?

It means a lot of businesses that do not usually talk about mental health will talk about it today. Same goes for influencers, celebrities and maybe some of your friends. Netflix will air some mental health specials and we’ll see more #smashingthestigma than normal. Great! Good! This is wonderful and honors those we’ve lost to suicide.

But it’s not enough.

Here at Reset we’re working on suicide prevention every day. One of those ways we do that is by helping every single person who encounters Reset to establish a mindful lifestyle. Coincidentally Mindfulness Day is on Sunday. So maybe some of those same people will talk about slowing down, being present and tell you to follow their new meditation challenge.

Cool. Did you know our mantra is #JointheSlowDownRevolution? Yea, we were slowing down before it was “fetch”. (if you know my reference, you are my favorite, thank you).

So what does this all mean? It means that suicide prevention and mindfulness go hand in hand and are things we all can work on every single day, not just one day out of the year.

How? Let’s dig in.

TOOLS

One of the main tenants of mindfulness is paying attention. Curiously enough, a way to prevent suicide is to pay attention to our loved ones.

How to Better Pay Attention to our Loved Ones:

Use their name. As this article states, “Not only does using someone’s name make them more engaged in the conversation, but using a name also makes you more invested in that person…Every time you use someone’s name, they feel important. They feel like they have a little more connection with you.” This one is simple and important. Start doing it today with everyone and you’ll make so many people feel important, valued and connected.

Do not ask “how was your day”. Instead, try one of these prompts. How many of you get a “fine” or “I don’t know” when you ask this question? Dig in, get curious and a bit more creative and you’ll find out more. It’s worth it.

Give undivided 20 minutes of attention. I’ve talked about this before and that is because it’s so important. In the car, at the dinner table, before bed…your loved ones need 20 minutes, each, from you a day. You can do it and don’t give them this instead. It’s not a replacement. Dear goodness.

Listen attentively. We’re all so dang distracted these days and it matters. It feels good to be heard (gosh, that’s a reason therapy is so successful!), so allow your loved ones to be heard. As this article shares, when you want to respond to a loved one, “if you do say anything, try asking ‘what else?’” You may be surprised what comes up.

GRATITUDE

So, another tenant of mindfulness is being in the present moment. How often do you actually feel you are present? Do you even know what that means?

To me, it’s intangible. It’s a feeling rather than something I can accurately describe. And the quickest route for me to be present is for me to be grateful.

Yesterday I was taking a run and I started off distracted and thinking about my aching shoulders and neck. My mind said “stop, quit, walk!” but my intuitive self knew I could run and wanted to run. So I turned my awareness to the present moment. I noticed the trees, the sun, the wind, my feet, my legs, my muscles.

We can so easily get caught up in our stories, negativity, escapism, and fixate on what is wrong, painful and uncomfortable. But if we can choose our thoughts, it just feels better to choose the ones that are present-focused and gratitude is the gateway.

INNOVATION

The last tenant of mindfulness I’ll speak of this week is without judgment. It can feel simple to fall into a pattern of awareness, noticing things and observing what is around you. Paying attention is fundamental to establishing a mindful life. It can also feel simple to start practicing more gratitude and joy in the present moment.

But can you do those things without attaching judgment? My husband the other day thought he was mindfully observing some children playing nearby as we were enjoying time at the park as a family. He felt grateful, present and aware. Yet, in his observation he then included commentary. An example would be if you’re at the park and you are observing a kid playing on the tire swing and it looks a bit dangerous and then you think, “Gosh, where are that kid’s parents? Don’t they look after him and teach him better?”. Judgment.

It’s SO EASY to fall into that habit. I mean, judgment is innate in us. It’s how biologically we’ve been trained to distinguish ourselves from others. It’s evolutionarily to our benefit to judge.

But when we observe without judgment we’re leaving space for compassion, grace, empathy, understanding and kindness. If you listen, pay attention and observe without immediate judgment then more people may feel comfortable with vulnerability, want to connect, share and be open and honest with their feelings.

We can create a more loving world.

FEELS

So, how do we prevent suicide?

It’s complicated because humans are complicated. But, it does start with being more human.

Listening, showing up, connecting, asking questions, extending grace, compassion, empathy, understanding, and freeing ourselves from our own stories, despair, burdens, pains, discomforts so we can allow for joy, gratitude and resilience.

Mindfulness is the daily practice that allows for all of this to happen. When start paying attention we can finally start looking at the truth of our situations and have the bravery to make it better.

If you or a loved one is ready and looking for some help in this process, please reach out. Our clinicians are always accepting new clients and right now:

We’d love to work with you.

Click here to learn more about counseling for depression.

Kerry Biskelonis
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