Three Ways to Support Yourself While Grieving
Is grief a normal response to a pandemic?
This is a question you may ask yourself before giving yourself permission to support yourself or someone else who is experiencing grief. Getting straight to the point - Yes, grief is a normal response to a pandemic. So is anger. Feelings of motivation. Feelings of disbelief. Exhaustion. Hope. Care. Frustration. Sadness. Boredom. Enthusiasm. Etc.
Everyone is experiencing the current global pandemic and financial crisis in their own way and each feeling is just as valid. The important things are:
(1) not to shame anyone (or yourself) for the emotional response they are experiencing
(2) not force people (or yourself) to put a silver lining or try to make things okay if they’re not - just listen to yourself and others and respond with empathy
(3) not to promote the idea that we should all be learning a new skill during this time and if we don’t, then it shows we “lack discipline” (aka more shaming).
Back to grief. This is an emotion that many people might be experiencing at various levels. So how can you help yourself through this? Here are three options to try:
Self-Compassion Break
Self-compassion is an active stance of kindness towards oneself. It is not pity nor is it an excuse. It is a strategic choice to bring care and support to an area that needs it now so that you can move forward. Give it a try here - it’s only 5 minutes and could help ease your grief.
Acknowledge Your Grief
Sometimes we are so overcome by emotions that we aren’t actually aware of what’s happening. Acknowledging your grief can help bring awareness and a sense of understanding which can ease the intensity of the emotion. You could write down the things you are grieving. But you don’t have to use words, sometimes grief is too big to be described. You can draw what the grief feels like, what it looks like to you. Or you can make the sounds of what the grief is like with your voice or an instrument. Or you can make the body movements that represent your grief. Alongside this, you could also write, draw, or make sounds and body movements that bring on active kindness, love and care directly to this grief.
Mindful Breathing
Find a comfortable and safe space in your home. Maybe bring a blanket to put on your lap or wrap around your shoulders if that feels good to you. Check in with your body, notice how your body feels and bring your attention into the body. And when you’re ready, bring your attention to your breath. Begin to count your breath up to the count of 2. So breathe in 1, breathe out 2, repeat. As you settle into this breathing, feelings might begin to arise; you might cry or you might not feel anything at all. Bring softness, love and care to either and all of these feelings and gently bring your attention back to your breathing. Continue breathing until you are ready to return to the room.
We are in this together. Sending you thoughts of loving kindness and of safety and good care.
Click here to learn more about counseling for grief.
