TGIF | The Power of Pendulation: Navigating Intense Emotions with Mindfulness
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Dear Community,
Today, I want to discuss pendulation. It's a concept we all use, often unknowingly, and a foundation of how we incorporate somatic therapy into our work at Reset.
As we navigate intense feelings that often conflict—grief & joy, despair & hope, fear & relief, anxiety & excitement, fear & love, rage & peace, contempt & curiosity, betrayal & connection—we can quickly become overwhelmed.
When an emotion gets so big, it overwhelms us and leaves us stuck in it. You've seen it before: a rage that can't leave your body, a fear that suffocates, a despair that feels comatose—even jubilation that denies compassion, perspective, and empathy.
The ability to pendulate helps us feel and stay with the emotion but then return to a grounded, calm center from which to act.
Mind-Body Mindfulness
This morning, as I was lifting heavy weights during split squats, the music was pumping with Rachel Platten, and my body was amped. But as I squatted lower, feeling my strength and willpower, I started crying. Why was this happening?
Movement—and the attention it requires—becomes a mindfulness practice. When we pay attention to how our body is experiencing something, we settle into the present moment.
In weightlifting, I must be acutely aware of my form, muscle movement, and breath. Just like in yoga, running, golf, and many other forms of movement, mindful awareness lets me notice the energy within me—all of it.
It’s why you can dance and suddenly laugh, or run and find tears streaming down your face. It’s why my yoga mat is a refuge where I have permission to actually feel. Especially through the experience of loss, allowing ourselves to grieve can be in these quiet, mindful moments of connection to our bodies. Our bodies hold what it is that we’re resisting…so we can use our bodies to help us notice what it is storing.
Cultivating Curiosity
It’s common to encounter a feeling, experience, or even a person that triggers a big, painful emotion. Often, our first instinct is contempt. We resist, push away, avoid, and get angry—wanting it to disappear.
The other day, while working out, my lower back started aching. I was frustrated. It was bothersome and distracting, and I didn’t want it to get in the way of my goals. We do this with feelings, memories, and even people.
If something causes pain, we often fight, avoid, and push it away with intensity.
But there's an alternative way to view these things—through curiosity.
Curiosity Provides Clarity
When we approach our feelings and physical sensations with curiosity instead of letting the pain overwhelm us, we create space for more understanding.
Sometimes an ache is a torn muscle; other times, it’s a reminder to get more sleep, stretch more, and slow down.
When we take pain at face value, we miss the chance to learn and make meaning. Intense emotions can cloud our ability to drop into compassion and curiosity—the foundations of mindfulness.
It’s from a grounded, mindful place that we can listen, open to receiving messages, and look beyond a distressing experience to understand its root.
Practicing Pendulation
So, back to pendulation. Just as the image suggests, this concept is about moving between states—sadness and happiness, grief and gratitude, fear and hope, contempt and curiosity, pain and softening. The key is to feel the emotions, honor them, but not get so swept up that our nervous system becomes dysregulated and we can no longer function.
Feelings are essential to experience, and there are lessons in sitting with them. But moving into shutdown or fight/flight mode helps no one.
You can practice pendulation in several ways:
Create a safe space: Find an environment where you feel comfortable. Invite in a distressing thought and notice how it expands within you. Feel the physical sensations—perhaps crying, tension, or rage. Then, invite in a happy place—something that brings joy, gratitude, and peace. Notice those sensations too. Go back and forth between the states and see if you can find a place of neutrality, acceptance, and evenness. Even better, do this while walking or tapping - really move through it.
In moments of distraction: At work, when you're distracted by pain or a big emotion, allow yourself to go there. Practice pendulation by going back and forth between awareness of the pain and the present moment, recognizing your body through a body scan. Breathe deeply and shift your focus between the two, gently bringing yourself to a centered place.
Incorporate fun: This one might sound silly, but it’s fun. Laugh—find a video, joke, or song that makes you laugh so hard. Then, cry. If you're like me, laughing can bring tears. Allow yourself to swing between these emotions. Expressing yourself is a powerful release.
Use music: I love to rage-sing, cry, drive, and dance. Put on a playlist full of emotional drivers and let yourself feel it all—every last drop.
Finding Inner & Outer States
An additional concept is that we can pendulate between internal and external states. Deep within, there’s a calm—a wise, nurturing, and peaceful landing pad. You can find it through meditation, yoga, creative acts, prayer, contemplation, or movement. Then there’s the noisy, reactive state, always scanning for threats and often triggered by distressing memories.
There’s also the external state of nature, where we reconnect with softness, beauty, and a sense of awe and stability. Know that, at any time, you can drop into your inner calm or consciously seek out the healing energy of nature. Every moment is an opportunity to find your center.
Remember, a dysregulated nervous system serves no one.
Calm mind, clear heart, conscious decisions.
This week’s Tools, Gratitude, Innovation, Feels
Tools
As mentioned earlier, bringing the body into the solution is a powerful way to allow feelings to move through us. I’ve found that without intention, big feelings will bubble up once I start walking, getting on my yoga mat, singing, drawing, and breathing. Somatic therapy is the essence of this practice- being aware of the body, too - and a tool available to you anywhere. Just start moving.
Gratitude
This playlist. When my emotions go into action and rage mode, this playlist helps them move through me powerfully. North Territorial drivers this week, you’re welcome.
Innovation
I reflected on the idea recently that each person can be impactful if they keep their little patch of this Earth pristine - to treat their home, community, neighbors, parks, and schools with reverence, honor, and respect. To be responsible for keeping our side of the street clean, of sorts. When feelings feel really big and problems feel uncontrollable and daunting, coming back to right where we are is an empowering place to start.
Feels
Sometimes, someone else says it all perfectly. This week, that’s this opinion piece, which articulates a lot of how some may be feeling beautifully.