TGIF | ADHD and Women: A Unique Perspective
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Dear Community,
Have you ever felt like your brain works at a different speed than everyone else? Like you're constantly juggling thoughts, tasks, and emotions, often feeling overwhelmed or misunderstood? Eek, hand raised...
Welp, you're not alone. Today, let's talk about ADHD in women.
ADHD: More Than Just Hyperactivity
For too long, the stereotype of ADHD has been primarily associated with hyperactive boys. However, ADHD presents differently in women, often masked by other challenges. Many women with ADHD exhibit symptoms like difficulty focusing, organizing, and managing time. They might be incredibly creative and imaginative but struggle with follow-through. These women often excel at multitasking, but this can lead to feeling scattered and overwhelmed.
I think of it like having so many tabs open on your computer browser. It’s pure madness, and sometimes it does work, but it can wreak havoc on the nervous system; some balls may be dropped, and you definitely are not responding to text messages.
It's important to understand that ADHD isn't about laziness or lack of effort. It's a neurodevelopmental condition that affects how your brain functions. This is so important to remember - it’s not a problem that can be fixed by doing more, and the shame accompanying that expectation can be especially harmful. Oftentimes, we have to find practices, tips, and tricks to excel in other environments without adding shame to the experience.
Postpartum and ADHD: A Perfect Storm
Oh, but mama…So let’s say you already feel scattered and welcome another human being into your life. Becoming a mother is a life-changing experience filled with joy, love, and overwhelming responsibility. For women with ADHD, the challenges can be amplified. Hormonal fluctuations, sleep deprivation, and the constant demands of motherhood can exacerbate ADHD symptoms.
Postpartum life can feel like a relentless chase for ADHD moms. Balancing newborn care, household duties, and personal needs is overwhelming. Difficulty prioritizing, forgetfulness, and mood swings can further compound these challenges. The societal pressure to be the "perfect" mother intensifies feelings of inadequacy and shame, common among ADHD women. Overwhelmed by the complexities of motherhood, many feel like failures, despite their best efforts.
It's crucial to remember that these challenges are not a reflection of your worth as a mother. You are doing your best, and seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Your brain just works differently, and it probably is excelling at the multi-faceted components of parenthood. ADHD brains possess unique strengths. The ability to hyper-focus, intense creativity, and a deep well of empathy can be invaluable in motherhood. ADHD moms often bring a fresh perspective, boundless energy, and a fierce love to their parenting journey.
It is, however, essential to prioritize self-care, but with ADHD, it can be difficult to find the time or motivation. This can lead to a vicious cycle of neglect, guilt, and further exhaustion.
Finding Your Way: Integrative, Somatic, and Holistic Approaches
While medication can be a valuable tool for managing ADHD symptoms, it's often not enough or simply a band-aid fix. Incorporating integrative, somatic, and holistic practices can provide additional support.
Breathe: Taking just thirty seconds to take some deep breaths, notice thoughts mindfully, and stay curious about them can help improve focus, reduce stress, and increase self-awareness. Mindfulness and tiny meditation bursts are your best friends.
Movement: Regular physical activity can boost mood, energy levels, and cognitive function. Not just for postpartum moms, but the movement is especially for all of those wired typical or otherwise!
Nourishment: Fueling your body with wholesome foods can support brain health and overall well-being.
Rest: Establishing a consistent sleep routine is crucial for managing ADHD symptoms. Keeping the phone out of the bedroom, not doom-scrolling or tik-toking best mama tips are go-to boundaries.
Connection: Using your support system to prioritize meaning-making activities, whether it’s a pumping/napping schedule for a newborn, date nights, yoga class, or a walk, can help you stay resilient, organized, and focused.
The Role of a Therapist
When I was postpartum with my first son, I re-started therapy when he was 4 months old. Truthfully, I wish I attended sooner due to my poor mental health, but you know, time. I was grateful to have a therapist I could bring him to the appointments (nowadays, telehealth is amazing for this!), so the obstacle of childcare was removed.
For me, my therapist helped me name my anxiety, intrusive thoughts, and obsessions as exacerbated not only by lifestyle change but also by neurodivergence. She helped me feel seen and heard, develop coping strategies, and build resilience during an especially vulnerable time.
Most importantly, my therapist helped me address the underlying emotional issues, such as guilt, shame, and low self-esteem. It was an hour each week to devote to myself, slow down, and be nurtured in a safe and supportive space to process my experiences and explore my feelings.
Remember, you are not alone. Countless women are navigating the challenges of ADHD and motherhood. By seeking support, you are taking a proactive step towards a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling life.
