Lean the **** Out
This week, I have a bone to pick with Glennon, what is the greatest robbery of all time and also the bittersweet feelings that come with goodbyes.
TOOLS
I love Glennon Doyle. Truly, she’s paved the way for women to give themselves the permission to be imperfect, messy and still amazing, powerful and beautiful.
Glennon loves to chant her mantra, “We can do hard things.” I understand the basic premise: be courageous, never settle and make the hard changes when you’re living inauthentically - but I think her mantra has been used to also justify busyness.
I am so tired of hustle culture. I am so tired of telling women to lean in. I am so tired of women making it seem like you can really have it all. Because you cannot.
You cannot work 60 hour weeks, make babies, have a strong (intimate) partnership, maintain solid friendships, go to therapy, work out daily, be super fit and healthy, sleep 8 hours a night, have a clean house, keep up with laundry, meditate, practice gratitude, meal prep, grocery shop, take your vitamins, floss, get manicures, not have wrinkles, journal, read books for pleasure, moisturize, stay up to date on news and podcasts, have clean hair, raise happy children, and be joyful, content and at peace.
You cannot just work harder. You cannot, you should not, and something has to give.
I truly believe that the self-care industry is a capitalistic tool to make us just add more into our days to support our increasingly busy lives. Rather that doing more to balance the busyness, we need to combat the busyness itself.
I love these recent articles listed below about the tools for how connection to ourselves, our bodies, our environment and aesthetically inspiring things can give us that present-minded peace we so crave.
GRATITUDE
Comparison is the thief of joy. —President Theodore Roosevelt
In talking to so many people through this last year, the common sentiment is an awe that other people must be thriving and doing it all because, they say so on Instagram!
Ugh. As we talked about last week, no one is excelling at pandemic life. And if you think they are, they are showing their highlight reel.
After sharing with my clients that I am taking a break from clinical work to repair my own health and presence, I had a lot of clients expressing gratitude. Quite the opposite reaction than the disappointment I was fearing!
They said they were happy to see that I am human too. They were grateful that I was practicing what I try to teach them - to set boundaries, slow down, take care of ourselves, be mindful. Most of all, they were grateful that I was transparent in that I too struggle with “doing or having it all” because it validates their own experience.
You are not a failure for not being able to or not wanting to work harder.
As I keep practicing my 2021 mantra, “Just because we can, doesn’t mean we should”, I CAN keep this pace up, but I shouldn’t. It’s costing me too much and I’m taking off the pressure of being superhuman. I hope that you too can give yourself that permission.
INNOVATION
If there was only one thing that we could to do immediately help mental health, it would be to 100% eradicate smart phones. No more emails, social media, counting steps and whatever else demands attention all the time.
This last month I took off my Apple Watch. I also removed email from my phone. I started setting boundaries with only checking email when I was in front of my laptop. I didn’t feel the need to know of every incoming text or phone call.
Everything could wait.
In a world that pressures us to do more, be more and do it all faster… it’s innovative to slow down. To unplug. To disconnect from the consumption and incoming stimuli.
We are not wired to be this responsive. We need breaks. We’re running ourselves into the ground as we try to sustain chronic stress.
Institute a technology free buffer in your week. Mandate it for your kids. Most likely they need a break more than you do. Build in 24 hours a week of doing nothing. Get outside. Play games. BE BORED. Playing, curiosity and boredom are much more common human experiences than looking down and scrolling.
FEELS
This all brings me to goodbyes. As I am preparing to say “goodbye” to clients starting in June, it feels so bittersweet. I will miss our regular sessions and seeing their “ah-ha” moments but also am really looking forward to having more capacity to lead our team of 16 employees (wowza!) and continually develop tools, innovative in this field and stay focused on the big picture.
I’m also feeling mixed emotions about saying goodbye to two of our team members, Jessica and Holly. They both have blossomed in the last year as entry level therapists and are now venturing out on their own. I feel honored that they chose Reset as their launching pads as they step into their brave new beginnings. They both will be missed but we will always celebrate their growth, contributions and time spent on our team!
Visit our website to learn more about our newest team members, Andrea and DeAnna who are busy accepting new clients and filling their schedules. We also have a very seasoned leader, Rachel, joining us in June and we’re thrilled to bring more talent and expertise onto our team! Lastly, Adam and Emily will be joining us late summer as our new interns. We have SO many events and special programs launching soon and special partnerships with our most loved community businesses.
Thanks for continuing to follow along.
Click here to learn more about stress counseling.
