How to Stay Positive, Motivated, and at Peace While Facing Negativity
How are you doing, really? For me, it’s been a rollercoaster week. Lots of nice highs and a fair amount of lows. It leaves me feeling tired and defeated. If you can relate, this week’s TGIF is for you. Let’s get started.
TOOLS
A few years ago I was called “Pollyanna” and it was supposed to be an insult.
While there is something to be said for blind optimism, I pride myself on trying to learn from adversity, build resilience in face of challenges and see the good as much as I can.
Right now, there is a lot of negativity. We know that. There are conflicts and headlines that can ignite even the most zen person’s anger. Even as someone who tries to be positive, I too have felt depressed.
Okay, so what do we do about it? How do we stay positive in the face of just heavy, hard things? I’m going to outline in “TGIF” fashion ways to do so. Keep reading.
GRATITUDE
This week I took an evening walk with my dog, past 8pm. I haven’t been out and about in town that late in a loooooong time. Anyways, I walked around with her and noticed the yellow leaves in the street light, the smell of hay in Kellogg Park with the scarecrows, the crisp air in the lungs. It was really nice. I smiled. I took it all in. I felt alive and happy.
The best tool we have for facing negativity is to drop into the present moment. We can look around and see the good. Just slow down and notice. Take a deep breath.
My favorite thing to do every morning is write about 3 good things that happened yesterday. Not only do I then reflect more intentionally on the previous day but I also then mentally prepare all day to reflect again in the morning! Since I started doing this I take more “mental pictures” of good throughout the day but I also seek out more fulfilling experiences.
INNOVATION
The best way out is always through - Robert Frost
When we’re encountering negativity it is natural and easier to resist, avoid and distract. But the more transformative solution is to actually sit in it and welcome in the negativity.
By going through the challenge we can be a witness to our own resilience.
My husband gets irritable with bad news. I get kinda snarky. But the best way for both of us to handle the bad is to talk about it, process it and actually feel it. That means I also journal about it, talk about it with my therapist and allow myself to feel all the emotions.
Lately, I feel fear and defeat. So, I sit in that. I breathe. I welcome in those scary emotions and see how I can handle them. I get curious. I stay objective in my observations of the emotion.
This is a process of mindful meditation and it’s something each of our team members teaches. It’s HUGELY impactful for overcoming trauma and also general discomfort.
FEELS
When we are encountering negativity we also can get fueled by an intensity to act. The adrenalin and inspiration to DO SOMETHING is intense. And then we get overwhelmed by what exactly to do.
So I offer this: start at your dinner table.
If you feel like there is a lot of hate and conflict around, be patient and kind at home.
If you feel there is a lot of fear and unrest about uncertainty in the future, focus on what you can control like your daily habits and attitudes.
If you feel lost with leadership, be a role model of generosity and integrity yourself.
If you feel defeated and depressed, take action by challenging yourself to try something new, push yourself physically, learn a new skill.
If you feel alone and lonely, call a friend, schedule a get-together, just talk to someone.
If you feel silenced, listen to others.
If you feel hate, be the love by loving yourself harder and with less judgement. Love yourself so much that you can love others without barriers and without judgment.
Click here to learn more about counseling for depression.
