How to Prepare for a COVID Winter
We are all probably used to Michigan winters - the cold, wind, snow and the early sunsets - but we’ve not lived through a Michigan winter in the middle of a pandemic. This is new and it can feel daunting. So what can you do to prepare for the upcoming months? Let’s start by naming the losses and move from there.
Name the losses
We can often name the things that we had and lost but we forget that humans also experience loss for things that never came into being. So the stories and laughter that would have been shared around the Thanksgiving dinner table, the feel of sunshine on your skin that you had been envisioning on your yearly vacation to Florida to escape the cold, the hustle and bustle of a packed house on Christmas morning, the loud and fun New Years dancing and celebration at your friend’s house - it is important that these losses, of what we have imagined we would have during these in person get togethers and trips need to be named and grieved. It’s especially difficult to move forward when we haven’t acknowledged what is hurting. And what is hurting deserves to be seen and cared for.
Offer yourself compassion
When we are hurting, we can react in different ways. We can try to diminish it, push it aside, scold ourselves, criticize. We can feel despair, hopelessness and loss of control. And we can choose to bring kindness, understanding and care to ourselves. We can do this in different ways, and here are some ideas:
Try the 5 minute self-compassion meditation. This meditation reminds us about the three components of self-compassion -- a mindful awareness, common humanity and active kindness.
Ask what your body needs and give that to your body -- does it need a stretch? Some food? Some water? A hot shower? A nap? Meeting your body’s needs will help soothe your brain too.
Tap into your creativity to discover your inner strengths. Take a piece of paper and any writing/drawing utensil you have on hand. Draw a horizontal line across the middle and above the line draw a tree, notice what your tree looks like. Below the line, coming from the tree draw at least five roots. Next to each root, write five strengths you have - don’t be shy! You can think of what might a good friend describe as your strengths if you need some help seeing yourself in this way. Reflect on what you wrote - how can you use these strengths to help you today? Color and decorate as you wish.
Keep asking yourself: How can I show up for myself today, in this moment, in this situation?
As winter weather descends on us and feels like it takes away socializing choices, we can still make choices in our lives. One of the best questions I’ve been asking myself is -- how can I show up for myself and my family and friends today? Coming from this perspective gives me back the sense of possibility, control and influence on the world around me, which then evokes hopeful thoughts. When we believe that we can enact change in our (inner and outer) world, it leads to hopefulness. Here are some ways I’ve shown up for myself and others in my life:
I’ve been making and sending more snail mail (as simple as a postcard) to stay connected in a non-technological way.
I’ve given myself a break - when I feel like I’m functioning with only 30% of my typical productivity and failing horribly at time management from having too many things to do while living through a storm of social, political, health unrest, I remind myself that even the best baseball players in the world, only hit the ball 30% of the time.
I made a WOOP to help me accomplish a goal I want to achieve this winter.
I created simple “when/then” plans to stay grounded: When I eat dinner, I smell my food before taking the first bite.
Be explicit in your quarantine plans
We’ve not had to talk to friends and family about quarantine planning to this extent before this year. It can be helpful to first decide what you and your immediate family feel comfortable with -
Will you visit other people's houses? If so, whose, and with how many people inside?
Will you let others visit your house?
Who would you like to have in your quarantine bubble?
What are behavior expectations for those in your quarantine bubble?
Will you see anyone who is choosing to visit highly contagious zones like gyms, religious services, indoor restaurants, casinos?
If you feel uncomfortable talking about these things with your friends and family, you are not alone. This topic can feel sensitive, especially when there isn’t a common belief in the virus or goal shared between people. Know that you are brave for bringing up these topics and these conversations very well might be messy, we’ve not practiced communicating on this topic before and our culture does not prepare us for kind but honest and explicit communication. When I struggle to move through these messy conversations, I remember a phrase: we have the right to start somewhere. And we are brave for beginning.
Plan for fun!
There may be a sense that there is no space for fun but we can always turn on the music and dance alone in our living room. Making memories does not need to be grand, and does not need to even include other people - making memories is about experiencing engaging something in the moment.
Take your phone camera to the park and capture some wintery scenes.
Join a role playing game online.
Write that funny story you’ve been meaning to put down on paper.
Create a comic strip about this year.
Plan an elaborate home movie night.
Buy a hula hoop and swing your hips left and right.
Joyful fun is not a luxury, it is a path to mental flexibility that helps us when we are navigating expected human experiences such as difficulty and suffering.
Let go of resisting what is in front of you
It won’t be like before. It will feel strange. And it might not be as good. That is what is right in front of us. But if we were to pay closer attention, each year is not like one before. There is always something new, within us and/or around us. Even when we are sitting right now, in this moment, there is movement and change happening in our bodies. What makes this year different for the majority of us is because the differences between last winter and this winter are more stark. Taking the time to acknowledge these differences and mourning the things you wish were the same is good; the point is simply not to live in that place. We can keep taking steps forward and open our eyes to what is in front of us -- yes the difficulty, and the little new joys we can create for ourselves. Some examples:
Since most of us can’t cook together anymore, bond with your family and friends over discussions on what you each plan to make for the holidays or create a “pie train” for those that live near you where each person makes a pie for the next person and so on.
Have a shared experience apart - get the same scent candle, make the same snack and put on a playlist for everyone to gather on Zoom and enjoy the same experience of senses.
Have a virtual doodle party together - let each person on the call name something that they associate with the holiday you are celebrating or the winter season. Everyone draws that thing on their paper and in the end, you each have a similar poster but individual artist expressions. Hang it somewhere you can see to remind yourself that it’s still possible to co-create and be connected on a deeper level than just the video call.
When we are born, we do not sign a contract that says our lives will go perfectly and without interruptions. Despite the things that separate us from the natural world - like our cars, houses, technology - we are part of the ecosystem and the ecosystem impacts us the same way we impact each other and everything in it.
Living through a pandemic is still living, our lives are not on pause, our lives are moving through the current ecosystem and even in this, we can make choices. Even if it’s the smallest ones like washing our hands and sending a note of “I’m thinking about you” to a friend far away.
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