Black Lives Matter: Ways to Support While Also Taking Care of Yourself
A few weeks ago, a close friend of mine and I had a deep discussion about Black Lives Matter. You see, my friend is a social worker whose life’s work is to end violence and I needed her help. I was feeling embarrassed for not having attended any Black Lives Matter protests. I kept thinking how can I call myself a supporter of the movement if I didn’t go to the protests? Despite the fact that I understood what was going on in my life and reasons why I hadn’t gone, I still felt locked in shame. Luckily my friend stepped in with more helpful thoughts than what I was having and helped me become an effective supporter rather focusing on my own short-comings. I would like to share them below for all those who might be in a similar situation like me.
Start with this: Understand that no one is perfect so expecting yourself to be perfect is not helpful.
My friend listened to my situation and kindly reminded me that protests are not the end all, be all of the Black Lives Matter movement. Moreover, there are other ways to engage, including attending virtual protests (which I didn’t know existed!) For example, a month ago, The Guardian reported that around “22,000 people from across the world used Zoom, Facebook Live and Instagram to take part in the online rally. Apollo Sankara of BLM London said of the protests: ‘This isn’t just a moment, this is a movement.’”
And there are other ways to be part of the movement as well.
Listen to black leaders and what they say they need.
One of my biggest takeaways from my conversation with my social work friend is to listen to what black leaders say they need. Listening, truly listening, instead of talking as a white person is a great thing I can do right now, today, in my home or at a protest. This time around we have more black leader voices and we can find one whose message resonates. Here are a few: Patrisse Cullors, co-founder of BLM, Kimberlé Crenshaw, Professor of Law at UCLA and Columbia Law School and adrienne maree brown, American author, doula, women's rights activist and black feminist based in Detroit, Michigan.
Educate yourself on language.
Language matters. The reason we say child with autism instead of autist child is to emphasize that they are a child first and their autism is second. The reason we say death by suicide instead of committed suicide is because suicide is not a choice and is preventable. This is why we say enslaved person rather than slave, because the former is an accurate depiction of the situation; they are a person who was enslaved. And an enslaver is someone who had made a slave of another human being. These words hold meaning and they have the power to shift how we experience and think about history and present day. Furthermore, the way we identify ourselves can have an impact on our effectiveness in the movement: considering yourself an anti-racist, signifying an active stance against racism, is different than simply saying not racist, a more passive phrase.
Educate yourself on how to respond to people who don’t understand the phrase Black Lives Matter.
I’ve seen quite a few folks respond with “All Lives Matter” and my perception of this is that they are experiencing a fear that drives them to say that. However, here is an analogy a friend shared with me - when you have a neighborhood and a house is on fire, you don’t send the fire department to help all the houses on the street, you send it to help the one that is on fire and the ones next to it. I think this neutral example helped me find an easier way to explain why the phrase is what it is.
Educate yourself on the phrase “Defund the Police”.
This phrase can also cause fear in some people but I think again it comes from not truly understanding what it means. Defund the policy goes hand in hand with Refund the Community. Black Lives Matter co-founder Alicia Garza further explains: "So much of policing right now is generated and directed towards quality-of-life issues, homelessness, drug addiction, domestic violence...What we do need is increased funding for housing, we need increased funding for education, we need increased funding for quality of life of communities who are over-policed and over-surveilled." Mental health resources have continuously been underfunded and are difficult to access, especially for people of color. The Black Mental Health Alliance is a leading effort in creating an equitable, respectful and compassionate society and lots can be learned from them.
Educate yourself via book or shows.
One of the efforts that my book club has made is to read books that matter right now. So we are currently reading Me and White Supremacy: Combat Racism, Change the World, and Become a Good Ancestor by Layla Saad. If books are too much for you at the moment, there are some well made documentaries and movies on Netflix, such as 13th and When They See Us.
More ways to support the movement
Support black business owners and artists in your community and nationally
Donate to help bail out protestors
If you can sew, make masks for protesters
Donate to GoFundMe for Black Stone Bookstore, a black-owned bookstore in Ypsilanti
Talk to your kids with the help of embracerace.org
As you can see, there are a lot of ways to support the movement and you can choose what you can do based on your own circumstances. For me, attending protests in person is not an option for the moment, but there are so many other ways that I can engage and be a part of the movement in an effective way. I hope you can find a way to engage too.
Click here to learn more about foundational wellness therapy.
