A Guide to Self-Care When You Are Feeling Unmotivated
Feeling unmotivated to do self-care? Here’s the question you need to ask yourself.
As I’ve recently mentioned, it can be tough to get a grip on life. And taking care of our mental health can be a challenge in and of itself. When I’m going through low periods, I don’t feel motivated to do my meditation practice. I know it would help me but I can’t get myself to do it. I feel too tired, too checked out.
It’s in these low moments, that my default is to start pushing myself to get “back on the wagon.” And.. you guessed it.. That goes nowhere fast.
So what do you do when you feel unmotivated to do your usual self-care routine?
First, you stop pushing yourself to have a streak of your usual stuff, be it meditation or whatever else it is you are pushing yourself to “get back on track”. That’s right, you move away from that. And instead, you aim for a streak of self-care.
The thing is, your needs change day-to-day. Even moment-to-moment. Your choice of self-care that day should accommodate your current needs. To see what you might need in the moment, you can identify the feelings and associated unmet need you are experiencing.
If you feel stuck about what self-care activities you can do, there are many options available.
From taking a shower, to reading, talking to a friend, to going outside, or doing an art project, playing an instrument, or even cleaning, to - yes - watching Netflix - the list of self-care options goes on and on. And below are some more lists:
51 self-care options
200+ self-care ideas
134 self-care activities
Now that you have some self-care options in mind, ask yourself this question to choose the right activity and help overcome the lack of motivation: How am I going to feel after I do this activity?
Here lies the trick to picking the self-care option that will help you the most and help you overcome the “I’m too checked out” barrier. When you focus your attention to this question, you can get a sense of the good that will come of you doing the self-care activity. You stop ruminating on how it feels to begin or get going on the activity and you place your attention to the benefit you will receive.
You may also surprise yourself. Before asking this question, maybe you were about to read as your method of self-care (ahem, me two days ago). But after asking this question, you realized what you really needed - what would really help you feel better right now, in this moment - is a hot shower.
How else can you get motivated to do self-care?
Sometimes, we need a bit more support in dealing with our lack of motivation, like setting the bar LOW. Instead of saying, “I will do three things of self-care tonight”, just aim to do one, and maybe even for just 5 minutes.
Remember, humans tend to be self-critical towards ourselves especially during tough times and when we are experiencing lows in life. And if that’s happening for your right now, it’s important to not be critical of your self-criticism. Remind yourself, we all tend to default to that and gently move yourself towards more compassionate inner dialogue.
You are doing great. No matter what your self-care looks like at the moment, your self-care practices are not judging you or scolding you or thinking that you have failed. Your self-care practice is sending you loving kindness.
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